Employ Mental Evaluation
Employ Mental Evaluation
Should you be working or institutionalized?
Answer all questions correctly!
Why do you want to work here? Money/Pride/Shame
Why would we want to hire you? Pity/Amusement/Profit
Have you ever worked before? Often/less often/More often
Do the above lines hold any special significance to you? Often/Less often/More Often
Do you often find yourself faced with redundancies or contradictions? Often/Less often/More often
Have you ever said to yourself? Often/Less often/More often
If you could be a fruit, would you? Grape/Blueberry/Pimento
Do animals follow you around? Often/Often/Often
Do you favor potatoes over pyroclastic surge? Often/Less often/Thursday
If we had to change your name for you to work here would you favor: Sergio/Aladdin/Lupus
If you saw a stack of bundled hundred dollar bills ($10,000.00) on the sidewalk you would: Leave it alone/Pick it up/Buy it dinner
Do you feel stealing from rich people is inherently wrong? Often/Less often/More often
Do you feel rich people stealing from you is inherently wrong? Often/Less often/ Less oftener
Have you ever said something stupid? Often/More often/More oftener
Have you ever said something, Stupid? Often/Less often/Moron
Do you often find yourself? Often/Less often/More often
If you saw a coworker steal from your employer you would: Report them to the authorities/Demand a cut for your silence/Murder them brutally
If you saw your employer stealing from a coworker you would: Demand a raise/Accept a pay cut/ Whimper quietly to yourself
If you could be a Panda Bear or a Unicorn, do you really feel you would be fit for this position? Often/Less often/Fabulous
In the Gobi Desert there is sand. Often/Less often/More often
In a Grody Dessert there is sand. Often/Less often/More often
I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Often/Less often/Sunday & Holidays
I accept Allah as the creator of all things. Often/Less often/Infidel
Vishnu is better than Krishna. Often/Less often/More often
Krishna is better than Vishnu. Often/Less often/Over again
Vishnu is Krishna. More or Less
There is no spoon. Often/Less often/More often
Knight to Queen’s Rook 4: Check/Mate/Abdicate
500 business cards for $9.95. A deal/Unheard of/What’s a business card?
Have you ever had a sexual thought? Often/More often/Too often
Are you masturbating right now? Yes/Of course/Certainly
Have you committed capital homicide? Often/Less often/More often
Do you still want to work here? Often/Less pay/More hours
Would you be willing to humiliate yourself publically to be hired by us? Yes/When do I start/I’ll do anything
Have you ever appeared in a porno? Often/Soften/Boffin’
Have you ever had sex with a family member? Often/Less often/Whore
Would you kill someone for money? Yes/Just point them out/when do I start?
Do you think this is a stupid test? Fuck you/You’re stupid/Jerk
If blowing an AIDs junky would save a baby in Africa, would you swallow? Often/Less often/Ewwww
Do you feel this survey was invasive? Often/less often/Big pussy
Scoring: 100% - 100%!
90% - 90%
80% - 70%
70% - 50%
60% - loser